1) What a lovely baby
2) Could you just hold him please while I wipe the poo off my face
3) This little piggy went to market, baa baa black sheep, row row row your boat, etc etc etc
4) Come on now mr windypops, where are you hiding?
5) These Huggies are terrible, I'm going back to Pampers
6) Do you think his tongue is too big for his mouth?
7) Has anyone got a spare muslin?
8) Love to see you for lunch - if we meet at 12 we'll have almost 2 hours before his next bottle
9) No thanks (to the wine), I'll have a soda and lime
10) No thanks (to the sex), I'd rather have a sleep